how much would u rate this passage out of 10? also give your views about it. im open to criticism.
Terrorism
If you ask a student to tell you the definition for terrorism, he might tell you that terrorism is the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear. He may tell you a hundred other definitions of terrorism. Till date it has been impossible to agree on a proper definition for terrorism. But if you want to know the true definition of terrorism you can get it from a child who has lost his father in a bomb blast or perhaps from a man who has lost his beloved or from a mother who has lost her child. The sorrow in their eyes can give you answers which words cannot.
Many evils surround us in today’s world: Murder, corruption, war, poverty, and hunger are a few to name. But terrorism is perhaps the worst of them all. It affects the body and mind deeply leaving the victim traumatized.
A terrorist is a cold blooded creature; he does not deserve to be called human for he has not a heart or a conscience. He kills mercilessly and does not value life.
And how can he when he does not even value his own? He does not care what he must do to achieve his goal. He is ready to destroy the whole world if that’s what it takes and in the attempt even perish himself.
The worst terrorist attack was 9/11 attack of the world trade centre killing more than 2996 people and injuring more than 6000.two commercial passenger jet airlines crashed inairline ask definitionto the towers reducing the once magnificent structure to rubble. Terrorism does not differentiate between the young or the old. The belsan massacre proved this. More than 777 children were killed and more were injured. If not for the terrorist attack these children would one day have grown into fine men and women. The qahtaniya bombing in Iraq is yet another example of terrorism. India too has not been spared. The 26/11 terror attacks and the air India 182 bombing are some of the worst acts of terrorism.
Terrorism has shed enough blood in this world to form a new ocean and this ocean threatens to engulf the world.
6
8, I would be careful about talking about 9/11 for many people lost loved ones in that disaster so be careful with that also if you asked a student they probably wouldn't give you such a deep definision otherwise great discriptive language ;) I compltetly agree with your views however
Excellent. I completely agree with your views. 10/10
Probably a 9/10. You have great ideas and I really love your writing style. However, I really don't think your average student would define terrorism as, "the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear." I'm pretty sure the response would be, "The bad guys in my ______ video game!" if of the male gender, and "Isn't it like, when someone tries to blow up another country or something?" If female haha.
I don't know what the exact purpose of your paper is (is it a persuasive essay? a brief overview of terrorism? a statement airline ask definitionof opinion?). As a factual report, I give it a 5. As an opinion paper, maybe a 6 or 7.
"Many evils surround us in today’s world: Murder, corruption, war, poverty, and hunger... But terrorism is perhaps the worst of them all." You're stating your opinion, not a fact. Just sayin. And couldn't it be argued that terrorism overlaps with murder and war?
"A terrorist is a cold blooded creature; he does not deserve to be called human for he has not a heart or a conscience. He kills mercilessly and does not value life." Ummm. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of terrorism. But a) this sounds like way too dramatic a description for a paper simply describing the definition of terrorism, and b) I don't know how I feel about this dehumanization of terrorists in general. They're not bogeymen, they're just people fighting very desperately for a cause.
How do you know that terrorists don't value life? Yes, they commit murder. But does that mean they don't care about their families, or the people on their own side? My point is, you can't use broad, sweeping generalizations in a paper meant to report facts. Facts cannot be argued. Your statements can. "He is ready to destroy the whole world if that’s what it takes and in the attempt even perish himself." Um. Can you cite that?
"The worst terrorist attack was 9/11" According to who, though?
Also, you need to proofread.
Bottom line: More facts, fewer dramatic descriptions of terrorists as monsters out of a Stephen King novel.
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